There Was a Chump Thought He Was King – A Parody | Don Caron

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A Parody of Good King Wenceslas about the only wannabe king who’s name rhymes with Chump. Lyrics and performance by Don Caron
Executive Producers Jerry Pender and Don Caron

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There was a chump, thought he was king
But he really wasn’t
Thought all remained as his plaything
But it really doesn’t

That Dumpster claimed that he had won
But he really didn’t
Doesn’t realize it’s all done
Now it’s time for good riddan’t

Wanted all to kiss his ring
Lots of people didn’t
Don’t he know that’s not a thing?
King-stuff is forbidden’t

Sure, he has his royal serfs
Sure, they won’t desert him
The rest of us see him as scurf
We must animadvert him

He thought his chair as top brass
Was a throne to sit on
He refused to move his ass
When ’twas time to get gone

That’s as bad as it can be
To see the office littered
Threatening Democracy
After all is considered

Says the charges must be dropped
But they really can’t be
Indictments coming can’t be stopped
In spite of all his ranting

Thought he was above the law
But he clearly isn’t
Thought that life’s his Mardi Gras
Instead he’ll be imprison’t

Problem is he won’t resign
Causing much upheaval
Many times he’s crossed the line
From just bad to evil

Subjecting members of the courts
To his thinly veiled threats
Adding to his list of torts
The closer to be jailed he gets

Thinking that he is exempt
From all prosecution
But his hair is so unkempt
Could it be from affusion?

If it was it wouldn’t be
That he had repented
Ready to enter a plea
That’s not how he’s oriented


“Good King Wenceslas” is a Christmas carol that tells the story of a Bohemian king (modern-day Czech Republic) who goes on a journey, braving harsh winter weather, to give alms to a poor peasant on the Feast of Stephen (December 26, the Second Day of Christmas). During the journey, his page is about to give up the struggle against the cold weather, but is enabled to continue by following the king’s footprints, step for step, through the deep snow. The legend is based on the life of Saint Wenceslaus I, Duke of Bohemia (907–935), who was not a king but a duke.

In 1853, English hymn-writer John Mason Neale translated the lyric from a Czech poem by Václav Alois Svoboda, in collaboration with his music editor Thomas Helmore, and the carol first appeared in Carols for Christmas-Tide, published by Novello & Co the same year.
Neale’s lyric was set to the melody of the 13th-century spring carol “Tempus adest floridum” (“Eastertime Is Come”) first published in the 1582 Finnish song collection Piae Cantiones.

Wenceslas was considered a martyr and a saint immediately after his death in the 10th century when a Cult of Wenceslas rose up in Bohemia and in England. Within a few decades of Wenceslas’s death, four biographies of him were in circulation. These hagiographies had a powerful influence on the High Middle Ages conceptualization of the rex iustus, or “righteous king”—that is, a monarch whose power stems mainly from his great piety, as well as from his princely vigor.

Sheet music of “Good King Wenceslas” is imprinted on a biscuit container from 1913, preserved at the Victoria and Albert Museum.
Referring approvingly to these hagiographies, a preacher from the 12th century wrote:
“But his deeds I think you know better than I could tell you; for, as is read in his Passion, no one doubts that, rising every night from his noble bed, with bare feet and only one chamberlain, he went around to God’s churches and gave alms generously to widows, orphans, those in prison and afflicted by every difficulty, so much so that he was considered, not a prince, but the father of all the wretched.”

Several centuries later the legend was claimed as fact by Pope Pius II, who himself also walked ten miles barefoot in the ice and snow as an act of pious thanksgiving.

Although Wenceslas was, during his lifetime, only a duke, Holy Roman Emperor Otto I (962–973) posthumously “conferred on [Wenceslas] the regal dignity and title” and that is why, in the legend and song, he is referred to as a “king.” The usual English spelling of Duke Wenceslas’s name, Wenceslaus, is occasionally encountered in later textual variants of the carol, although it was not used by Neale in his version.[ Wenceslas is not to be confused with King Wenceslaus I of Bohemia (Wenceslaus I Premyslid), who lived more than three centuries later.

A statue of Saint Wenceslas on horseback can be found at the Wenceslas Square, in Prague.

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  1. tucker gary

    thanks your wry wit shortens the pain of life with putin’s puppet.