LITTLE DUFFER BOY (Parody of Little Drummers Boy)

“Duffer” is traditionally a derogatory term for a golfer who is a hack. While the term usually refers to being a hack at golfing, we stretched the meaning to be a golfer who is a hack at everything else – he might be a hack at golfing too – wouldn’t have any way of knowing , since we don’t golf.

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LYRICS FOR “SINGLE CELLS”
(Written by Don Caron)

They called us all snowflakes!
We thought that was quite nice.
All snowflakes are unique.
You’ll never see one twice,
and when they are combined
their unity is strong,
go stand beneath a calving glacier
If you think I’m wrong.

Single cells, shallow wells
calling people names
when there is no argument
then only that remains
single cells, shallow wells
going all the way
Fake news is their first response
for everything you say

Oh the things they will make up
sheeple call us sheep
then tell us to wake up
while they are fast asleep.
They’ll tell you what you think
so they can shoot it down
Then finish up with cogent points
like moron libtard clown

Single cells, shallow wells
calling people names
when there is no argument
then only that remains
single cells, shallow wells
going all the way
Fake news is their first response
for everything you say

They tell us we’re butt-hurt
But I don’t think it’s true
I think I’d notice if
my anus were askew
But that part feels just fine
no reason for concern
and I’m sure that isn’t what we meant
when we said “Feel the Bern.”

Single cells, shallow wells
calling people names
when there is no argument
then only that remains
single cells, shallow wells
going all the way
Fake news is their first response
for everything you say

COPYRIGHT 2017 Parody Project LLC

LYRICS TO LITTLE DUFFER BOY
(Lyrics by Don Caron – Music: Czech Folksong)

Come, he told them I’ll build you a wall
To stop the planes – it’ll be five thousand feet tall
Because of tunnels it will have to be deep
If you believe him then you’re sound asleep
counting the sheep
What the bleep?
Then he took a stick and whacked a white ball
that above all

He said I’ll give you all some tax relief
a question comes to mind in disbelief
turns out his tax break is for billionaires
I have to ask you now does that seem fair
pretending to care
then going somewhere
and golfing all that day and the next day too
his skills are few

“Repeal Obamacare” were his exact words
Seems like a clever way to thin the herd
It also frees up cash for billionaire friends
a new disbursement of our dividends
makes it all clear
where it all ends
But when you take some time to consider the source
It’s par for the course

Sometimes I wish he would golf all day
Prob’ly wouldn’t do so much damage that way
except we pay a lot whenever he goes
exactly what the bill is nobody knows
Quite a lot
you gotta suppose
It puts him where few golfers are
well below par
he’s well below par
Far below par.
some say sub-par

COPYRIGHT 2017 PARODY PROJECT LLC

BACKSTORY ON THE SOURCE MATERIAL

The song was originally titled “Carol of the Drum” and was published by American classical music composer and teacher Katherine Kennicott Davis in 1941, as based upon a traditional Czech carol. Davis’s interest was in producing material for amateur and girls’ choirs: Her manuscript is set as a chorale, in which the tune is in the soprano melody with alto harmony, tenor and bass parts producing the “drum rhythm” and a keyboard accompaniment “for rehearsal only”. It is headed “Czech Carol freely transcribed by K.K.D”, these initials then deleted and replaced with “C.R.W. Robinson”, a name under which Davis sometimes published. The Czech original of the carol has never been identified.

“Carol of the Drum” appealed to the Austrian Trapp Family Singers, who first brought the song to wider prominence when they recorded it for Decca Records in 1955, shortly before they retired: their version was credited solely to Davis and published by Belwin-Mills. In 1957 it was recorded, with a slightly altered arrangement, by the Jack Halloran Singers for their album Christmas Is A-Comin’ on Dot Records. Dot’s Henry Onorati introduced the song to his friend Harry Simeone and the following year, when 20th Century Fox Records contracted him to make a Christmas album, Simeone, making further small changes to the Halloran arrangement[ and retitling it “The Little Drummer Boy”, recorded it with the Harry Simeone Chorale on the album Sing We Now of Christmas. Simeone and Onorati claimed joint composition credits with Davis.

The album and the song were an enormous success, the single scoring on the U.S. music charts from 1958 to 1962. In 1963, the album was reissued under the title The Little Drummer Boy: A Christmas Festival, capitalizing on the single’s popularity. The following year the album was released in stereo. In 1988, The Little Drummer Boy: A Christmas Festival was released on CD by Casablanca Records, and subsequently, on Island Records. Harry Simeone, who in 1964 had signed with Kapp Records, recorded a new version of “The Little Drummer Boy” in 1965 for his album O’ Bambino: The Little Drummer Boy. Simeone recorded the song a third and final time in 1981, for an album (again titled The Little Drummer Boy) on the budget Holiday Records label.

The story depicted in the song is somewhat similar to a 12th-century legend retold by Anatole France as Le Jongleur de Notre Dame (French: Our Lady’s Juggler), which was adapted into an opera in 1902 by Jules Massenet. In the French legend, however, a juggler juggles before the statue of the Virgin Mary, and the statue, according to which version of the legend one reads, either smiles at him or throws him a rose (or both, as in the 1984 television film, The Juggler of Notre Dame.)