24 MONTHS OF TRUMP’S MESS (sequel)

posted in: Christmas Songs, Parody, Trump Parodies | 4





 
This parody is a sequel and an update to last year’s 12 Months of Trump’s Mess. It opens with the last verse of the 2017 version (month 12) and continues with months 13 thru 24. It’s 10 minutes long so listen when you have time. If you haven’t heard part 1 (2017) yet you can watch it here:

Watch the 2017 version here: TWELVE MONTHS OF TRUMP’S MESS PART 1

 

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LYRICS to 24 MONTHE OF TRUMP’S MESS

in the 12th month of Trump’s Mess
in case you hadn’t heard
Christmas is a word
the wealthy get a break
abolish the press
you’re not allowed to kneel
erase the EPA
transgender ban
repeal Obama Care
a hundred days of golf
use a nuclear bomb
sell off public lands
enforce a muslim ban
and he still wants to build a border wall

In the 13th Month of Trump’s Mess 
a Nuclear Button Tweet: 

“Mine is clearly bigger!”
Who will pull the trigger?
A “very stable genius”
calling countries shit holes
Drilling on the beaches 
‘cause of oil committals
– Fake News Awards
Government shutdown
We find out that Cohen
gave a check to Stormy
And he still wants to build a border wall.

In the 14th Month of Trump’s Mess 
some Dems refuse to clap
Doesn’t ask the reason
He just calls it treason

Second shutdown repine
“Worth it for our nation.”
Hope Hicks chose to resign

Porter abdication
Cohen says he financed
Stormy’s check for payoff
Three more resignations
just a normal layoff
– Karen’s nine month fling
coverup denied by AMI
White House says fake news
and he still wants to build a border wall.

In the 15th Month of Trump’s Mess
he says he thinks it’s great
That Jinping serves for life
He thinks that would be nice
says, “Let’s give that a shot”
and we all say let’s not.
Pachyderms are game now
taken from the list of
the endangered species
they all will be missed
‘cause rich folks want to shoot them
And they get what suits them

Refuge is now shrinking
for endangered species
We will just replace them
with some Mitsubishis
tariffs placed on metals

about which he’s bragging
2020 slogan
it will leave you gagging
two more resignations

and McCabe gets fired

with only two days
before he was retired
Guns for all the teachers
Congrats to Vlad Putin
over the election
Trump sends agents scootin’

– Three more people fired

It’s a hurricane of indecision
and constant turmoil
and he still wants to build a border wall

In the 16th Month of Trump’s Mess
a proclamation signed
deploys the National Guard
to gather at the border
then he tweets a warning
‘bout a war with Syria
says it could be soon
or not soon at all
Does that mean in June
or not ’til next fall
Tweets about Korea
claims that they agreed
to denuclearization
which they didn’t cede to
Tweets about James Comey
liar and a slimeball
should be put in prison
doesn’t mention crime though
Three more peeps resign

happens all the time
– Stormy files suit.
She won’t go away
Even though they 
paid her off last year.
and he still wants to build a border wall

In the 17th Month of Trump’s Mess
more of them resigned
Four EPA officials
don’t know their initials
also the director
of the Federal Prisons
Trump signs a disclosure
of his own finances
loses his composure
when the circumstances
show a quite large payment
to his lawyer Cohen
Must have been a great big
party he was throwing
Wants the DOJ
to probe the FBI
seems to think that they’re

the wall’s proverbial fly
spied on his campaign
to help the Clinton train
– He removes the press
from the National Lead-ership Summit
Where Scott Pruitt spoke
and he still wants to build a border wall.

In the 18th Month of Trump’s Mess
it’s all about the kids
2000 of the minors
taken from their parents
It’s what the designers
labeled Zero Tolerance
then blamed Democrats
and didn’t even bother
with an excel spreadsheet
so they’d know the mother
of the kids in cages
Truly our dark ages
– What could go wrong
with a plan like that? 

Guess you couldn’t really call that a plan
and he still wants to build a border wall.

in the 19th Month of Trump’s Mess
the Justice Kennedy
announcing his retirement
Kavanaugh gestation
for the nomination

Trump tells May to sue
the whole of the E.U.

Refers to them as “foes”
as his brain function slows
Doesn’t see a reason
why it would be Russia

Then says he meant “wouldn’t
”
“double negative” 
goes viral when it shouldn’t

We hear of a phone call

three minute recording
Cohen and his Jefe
Enquirer Cofefe
Did a catch-and-kill
What died was Karen’s story
Trump says “what you’re seeing
and what you are reading
is not what is happening”

Voter ID shouldn’t

be factious material
since you need ID
to buy your favorite cereal

700 children
still without their parents
border policies that
prove their incoherence
– Threatens with a tweet
“I will shut it down, 
if the Democrats don’t 
vote the way I want”
‘cause he still wants to build a border wall.

In the 20th Month of Trump’s Mess

Jeff Sessions gets a call
“Stop this rigged witch hunt
it’s staining our nation”
Sara says that’s just a
form of speculation
then calls the free press
the “enemy the people.”
At the Southern border
kids still without parents
Judge says get it fixed now
end this gross aberrance.
Several resignations

normal Monday morning
Enter Omarosa

with a taped recording
Trump says she a whacky
vicious low-life nasty
Brennon loses clearance
for his non-adherence
Trump postpones parade
and blames it on price gouging
Mueller questions Don McGan
for thirty hours.
Michael Cohen is
under investigation
for bank fraud and for
egregious tax evasion
Manafort convicted
by a judge and jury
Cohen now pleads guilty
Trump begins to worry
Says if he’s impeached
the markets will all crash
Enquirer CEO is
given a free pass
so he will tell the stories
Karen has amassed
– “Truth isn’t truth”

Guiliani said with a straight face
just like Kellyanne

And Trump still wants to build a border wall.

In the 21st Month of Trump’s Mess
the Senate hearings start
about Brett Kavanaugh

Protest-incarcerations
Democrats reveal
the sexual allegations
Christine Blassey Ford
is named against her wishes

they attack the victim
typically malicious
Trump says he will not
retire the nomination
Democrats present
a second allegation
Michael Avenatti
tweets about a third one
Choice to move this forward
seems like an absurd one
Then the famous hearing
Christine and Brett speaking
Privilege under pressure
crying and then shrieking
Trump addressed the UN
General Assembly
– He has achieved 
more than any other president
they had a good laugh
and he still wants to build a border wall.

In the 22nd Month the president mocks Blasey-Ford
Kavanaugh confirmed
Haley resignation
A new trade agreement

after much cunctation
Don McGahn resigns
Khashoggi disappears
finally motivating
journalistic peers
Trump suggests “rogue killers”
says that he’s a “nationalist”
think we’d all prefer it
if he was rationalist
Migrant Caravan is
is coming here to plunder

Trump sends troops to border
tries to grab some thunder
– No one’s coming in
Thinks of rocks as bullets

probably also thinks
a vulture is a pullet
and he still wants to build a border wall.

In the 23rd Month of Trump’s Mess 
the president campaigns.

When the midterms end
it puts him in a mood.

Holds a short press conference
just so he can brood.

Suspends the access pass
of journalist Acosta
for asking tough questions
of the chief imposter.
Loyal to the Saudis
Though they killed Khashoggi
Not to even mention
genocide in Yemen
Angry at the courts for
following the law blurts
out a twitter battle
with Chief Justice Roberts
Says the border troops
can kill if necessary
‘cause all those brown people
are so very scary
Still defending
the Saudi Crown Prince’s actions
Courts close Trump Foundation
for its putrefactions
Tweets that his opposers
should get jail for treason
Michael Cohen guilty
lying is the reason
-Tweets he’s Tariff Man
That’s not well received by the markets
which dropped three percent
and he still wants to build a border wall

In the 24th Month of Trump’s Mess
it’s open to the press
a meeting with Chuck Schumer
and Nancy Pelosi
All of them together
isn’t that just cozy
Threatens to shut down
the government if they don’t
fund his border wall
and they still say that they won’t
Michael Cohen sentenced
to three years in prison
Federal prosecutors
probe inauguration
President abandons
funding for the wall
FOX news goes insane

and tries to start a brawl
He decides to pull the
troops from Syria
General Mattis quits
says deleterious

Trump rethinks the wall
he needs it after all
The Government shuts down
so Trump can throw a tantrum
Guessing “fund the wall”

is our new national anthem
Markets take a dive
hit bottom for the year
Tweets the Federal Reserve
pushed it out of gear
– Christmas in the White House
due to the shutdown
Decides to ruin Christmas
for a little girl
and he still wants to build a border wall.

HISTORY OF THE SOURCE MATERIAL
(12 Days of Christmas)

“The Twelve Days of Christmas” is an English Christmas carol that was published in England in 1780. The original version was done without music and was performed as a chant.

The standard tune now associated with The 12 Days of Christmas is derived from a 1909 arrangement of a traditional folk melody by English composer Frederic Austin. He was the one who came up with the catchy little break in the middle of the verses that we recognize as “five gold rings.”

There are various historic versions of the lyrics from different countries. For example, from Scotland we have this:

The king sent his lady on the thirteenth Yule day,
Three stalks o’ merry corn,
Three maids a-merry dancing,
Three hinds a-merry hunting,
An Arabian baboon,
Three swans a-merry swimming,
Three ducks a-merry laying,
A bull that was brown,
Three goldspinks,
Three starlings,
A goose that was grey,
Three plovers,
Three partridges,
A pippin go aye;
Wha learns my carol and carries it away?

“Pippin go aye” (also spelled “papingo-aye” in later editions) is a Scots word for peacock or parrot.


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4 Responses

  1. Juanita

    This covers the news for the entire year 2018 in just under 11 mins. I find it to be very insightful and hope that we do not need to add another instullment to cover 2019

  2. Katherine Lake

    I knew you were brilliant, Don, but I didn’t realize how brilliant until I read the lyrics to “24 Months of Trump’s Mess”. It was stellar! (Hard to sing along to, though. 😄)

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