posted in: NEWEST, Parody, Trump Parodies | 9


So as Trump and Pelosi engaged in their standoff that led to the shutdown (with another one possibly coming up according to Trump), I received an idea for a parody from Ron Dusseau – using Kenny Rogers’ version of The Gambler with gambling metaphors generously sprinkled throughout. The end result is the production you are about to watch.


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On a warm summer’s evening
in July twenty-fifteen,
a conman made a gamble:
tried to build a wall of cards.
He thought he’d won the payout
on the day he got elected,
but then came the new players
and they were not trumptards.

When he reached across the table
to rake in all his winnings,
a voice cut though the darkness
and his anger was aroused.
The words came from the Speaker
making his life bleaker,
when she told him that a joker
could not beat her full House.

She said, “You should not be bluffing
when your deck is not a full one.”
Her words just made him angrier
so of course he doubled down.
The night got deathly quiet
and the silence made him shuffle.
She knew that he would blink first
‘cause she wasn’t new in town.

He didn’t know how to play ’em
or what to say, when.
Didn’t read the rules
‘cause he don’t know how to read.
He just wiped a booger.
It was classic Dunning-Kruger.
He lacks the neural networks
to know he can’t succeed.

And every gambler knows
the game cannot be won
by stealing someone else’s cards
to claim them as your own.
When your back’s against the wall
and you’re betting on the outcome,
the best that you can hope for
is to just be left alone.

But he thinks he’s an ace player
and the best that ever could be.
He’s threatening to challenge her
to another round.
The stakes are high,
but not for him.
He doesn’t care who gets hurt,
he only wants to win.

He doesn’t know when to weigh in,
stuck in his playpen,
doesn’t know he tips his hand
by the way he acts.
He wants to be the big guy,
the strong suit at the table,
but he lacks the capacity
to know that’s what he lacks.

Doesn’t know what he’s sayin’,
who he’s dismaying.
Doesn’t know not everyone
was dealt a diamond flush.
So he stacks the deck
for those who do not need it.
He fills his hand with wild cards.
He wants to win that much.

Doesn’t know how to play ’em
or what to say, when
didn’t read the rule book
about the deck he stacks
He will always be a loser.
It is classic Dunning-Kruger.
He lacks the neural networks
to know that’s what he lacks.


“The Gambler” is a song written by Don Schlitz, recorded by several artists, most famously by American country music singer Kenny Rogers.

Don Schlitz wrote this song in August, 1976 when he was 23 years old. It took two years of shopping the song around Nashville before Bobby Bare recorded it on his album “Bare” at the urging of Shel Silverstein. Bare’s version didn’t catch on and was never released as a single, so Schlitz recorded it himself, but this version failed to chart higher than #65.

However, other musicians took notice and recorded the song in 1978, including Johnny Cash, who put it on his album Gone Girl. It was Kenny Rogers who finally broke the song loose, in a version produced by Larry Butler. His version was a #1 Country hit and even made its way to the Pop charts at a time when Country songs rarely crossed over. It was released in November 1978 as the title track from his album The Gambler, which won him the Grammy award for best male country vocal performance in 1980.

In 2006 Don Schlitz appeared in the Kenny Rogers career retrospective documentary “The Journey”, where he praised both Rogers’ and Butler’s contributions to the song stating “they added several ideas that were not mine, including the new guitar intro”.

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9 Responses

  1. greg anderson

    YES we all know about , executive time , his response to joint house was half bullshit , Lets see his Tax Returns ,so we can know/or be assured its not ‘apprentice president’ , he does not appear to know the difference , thanks Don , as always

  2. Adrian Moran

    Love your stuff, not only is it funny, but totally bang on the money. You should have a go at our Prime! Minister, shea as dumb as doughnuts.

    Regards from the UK

    Bear Moran

  3. leslie Hulkower

    wonderful keep it least some people in this country have the guts to talk back bravo

  4. Katherine Lake

    Loved these lyrics! Every Trumpelthinskin bloviation IS classic Dunning-Kruger😂

  5. chantilly lovelace

    Another fine job! Pokes the crazy while keeping the feel of the original tune, right down to croaky vocals.