LYING THEIR WAY INTO HEAVEN -Parody of Stairway to Heaven

General Mattis made two important announcements this week that went virtually unnoticed in the kerfuffle about the FiSA memos. He announced that Terrorism was no longer a the number one military priority – the new priority was Great Power Competition. Now that they have material for a new cold war with China and Korea, and a party in power that will fund military expansion, suddenly the fabricated fear of terrorism gets dropped. Odd. Odd enough to write a parody about it for certain. The other announcement was that there is no solid evidence that Assad gassed his own people.

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SOURCE MATERIAL – Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin

“Stairway to Heaven” is a song by the English rock band Led Zeppelin, released in late 1971. It was composed by guitarist Jimmy Page and vocalist Robert Plant for the band’s untitled fourth studio album (often called Led Zeppelin IV). It is often referred to as one of the greatest rock songs of all time.

“Stairway to Heaven” was voted number three in 2000 by VH1 on its list of the 100 Greatest Rock Songs, and was placed at number 31 on “Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Songs of All Time”. It was the most requested song on FM radio stations in the United States in the 1970s, despite never having been commercially released as a single there. In November 2007, through download sales promoting Led Zeppelin’s Mothership release, “Stairway to Heaven” hit number 37 on the UK Singles Chart.


Mad Dog Mattis just said
the “War on Terror” is dead.
Are they lying their way into heaven?

Did we win that war?
Do we know what it was for?
Is it safe for us to ponder the question?

ooh ooh ooh ooh
Are they lying their way into heaven?

We went to Afghanistan
With a poorly thought out plan
in the aftermath of nine-eleven.

The terrorists were not there
and Bin Laden didn’t care
because he was well hidden in Pakistan.

Ooh, it makes me wonder

Afghans had to pay the price,
We left a warlord’s paradise
and we built up their opium production

Then when Karma took its turn,
so many things we’ll never learn,
we we’re stricken with opioid addictions

Ooh and it makes me wonder

Iraq was next in line
WMD storyline,
even though it turned out that there were none.

Over one million died
just because our leaders lied
and the birth of iSIS was what we won.

But there were benefits for someone
in the long run.
There was great profit to be had there.

So Halliburton claimed the spoils
for their toils
thirty-nine billion bucks was their share.

And it makes me wonder.

The highest living standard in Africa
was in Libya.
But that was all before we hit their shore.

We tore the fabric of their existence
with our “assistance,”
and left them with an enduring civil war.

Then we attacked in Syria
funding ISIS in the fray
“Moderate rebels” was their new name.
It sealed the notion we’re insane.
They said Assad had gassed the lot.
Protestors here get gassed and shot
with chemicals they’re banned in war
at Waco, Standing Rock and more
We are the terror at our core

And their lying their way into heaven.

Copyright 2018 Parody Project LLC

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10 Responses

  1. Mel

    Hi, I am Polish living in the Czech Republic, and I care about the US as if it was my home, I lived there 8 years… fter discovering your work I have been continually and intensely promoting, sharing and discussing it with my English students (I am a teacher of adults). It’s so refreshing to see & hear your parodies in these dark times!

  2. Nancy Eckroad-Haney

    I can’t understand why Colbert hasn’t gotten ahold of you. I’d like to forward your work to his company. You deserve a national audience. Great job.

  3. Sue Byrne

    Your work is funny – and then it hurts. I’m in the U.K. and this parody is about our government as much as it is about yours. Why do we all go on letting these things happen? I suppose our ‘democracies’ allow idiots, thieves, liars and delusionists to vote in people like themselves! And then they go posing all over the world, pretending that their way is the only way, and not giving a shit about the people they are supposed to be ‘helping’ because they are obviously not ‘civilised’ like we are. God – I’m so angry!

  4. Angela Basta

    Well, this one beats “Confounds The Silence”. Great lyrics and the music makes me feel like I’m surrounded by the 70’s again.

  5. Marjorie French

    In a work of fiction, The Color of Fear, a fictional (?) book Hintson Criminal Investigation, was quoted, “A common tactic among criminals seeking to avoid detection is MISDIRECTION. Let this be a warning to neophyte investigators that very often in a case, the scenario of crime, whether generated by oneself or the suspect(s), is not always as it seems. Criminals will often prepare a story backed up by a few convincing facts. Others will construct elaborate tales whose vast details will require a great deal of time and effort to untangle. Evaluate those acts and details carefully. Inconsistencies may appear among them that will set you on a road to a solution.” Sounds like advice for Robert Mueller.