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A Parody about Fifty Ways to Leave the White House.

This is a parody of Paul Simon’s mega-hit “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover.” It fits like a glove on the subject of Trump’s refusal to acknowledge that Joe Biden won and that the election process is over.


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LYRICS to Fifty Ways to Leave the White House
Written by Don Caron

The problem is all inside your head, we all agree.
You were voted out so now you’re just a wannabe.
We’d like to doff your ass from public property.
There must be 50 ways to leave the White House.

You know, it’s really not my habit to intrude,
but the oval office ain’t the place for you to sit and brood.
It’s time to just move on because you’re redefining rude.
There must be fifty ways to leave the White House.

Fifty ways to leave the White House
What’s admitting that you lost cost?
Grow a pair and backtrack.
Let go of that plot you got.
There’s no foul play.

We can help you look for the door.
That’s what elections are for.
On your very last prey-day
just hit the highway.

So do your little pout flout
and and have a little vaunt flaunt.
It will not a thing bring
however you cling.

Slink away to your coast post.
That’s first and foremost.
This country’s not a king thing
even though it might sting.

You know, it grieves me so to see you cause more pain,
so there was something that we did so it cannot occur again.
And it is not a big surprise we must repeatedly explain
about the fifty ways

We watched you lie and cheat your way through life for all those years.
And then you used the same approach to play upon the country’s fears.
But now all that is done. Can’t you hear the cheers?
There must be fifty ways to leave the White House.
Fifty ways to leave the White House

When that you weren’t picked clicks
Climb over that tall wall.
There’s nowhere to hide.
Biden knows the White House.

Just take a little backpack
or wait for the black jackets
to without a doubt out
both you and your spouse.

This is a required fired.
Get over your deny lie.
You’re about to be long-gone
‘cause your ass got beat.

Got the “didn’t wanna lose blues”
something you can’t refuse.
So throw out the cheat sheet.
Make your final tweet.


“50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” is a song by the American singer-songwriter Paul Simon. It was the second single from his fourth studio album, Still Crazy After All These Years (1975), released on Columbia Records. Backing vocals on the single were performed by Patti Austin, Valerie Simpson, and Phoebe Snow. The song features a recognizable repeated drum riff performed by drummer Steve Gadd. One of his most popular singles, “50 Ways” was released in December 1975 and began to see chart success within the new year. It became Simon’s sole number-one hit as a solo artist on the Billboard Hot 100 in the United States, and was his highest position in France, where it peaked at number two. Elsewhere, the song was a top 20 hit in Canada and New Zealand. The single was certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), denoting sales of over one million copies. Following Simon’s divorce from first wife Peggy Harper, Simon opted to take a more humorous approach to document the incident. He recorded the song in a small New York City studio on Broadway, and built the song around the drums in order to “avoid clutter”.

Here’s the official original version of Fifty Ways to Leave the White House by Paul Simon


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