GRAYBAR HOTEL – A Parody | Don Caron & David Cohen

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May 30, 2024 – A day that will go down in infamy. For the first time in the history of the USA, an ex-president was convicted of a crime – 34 felonies to be exact. Another first is that he is the only felon to ever be a presumptive nominee for a major party.
Parody of Heartbreak Hotel. Lyrics by David Cohen – Performance and video by Don Caron.
Executive Producers Don Caron and Jerry Pender

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by David Cohen

Well, since the Jury effed me
I’ll get a new place to dwell
They’ll ship me from Mar-a-Lago
To the Graybar Hotel

They found me…found me so guilty, baby
They found me guilty
They found me so guilty, said I lied

Looks like it’s gonna’ be crowded
In my tiny, unfurnished room
With a single broken toilet
And more guests arrivin’ soon

I won’t be
Won’t be so lonely, baby
Won’t be so lonely,
Won’t be so lonely, that’s no lie

Yeah, MAGA tears keep flowin’
My toadies are dressed in black
As I have to do a stretch in stir
While stealing from the “PAC”

But I won’t be, won’t be so lonely, baby
I won’t be lonely
Won’t be so lonely, that’s no lie

Since all of my loans are past due
I’ll need Bibles and hats to sell
As I set up to do some “Meet and Greets”
At Graybar Hotel

Where I won’t, won’t be so lonely, baby
Won’t be so lonely
I won’t be so lonely, that’s no lie

Oh, it’s really gettin’ crowded
As they bring in more personnel Along with the Secret Service
Yeah, to bunk inside my cell

They found me….they found me so guilty, baby
They found me guilty
They found me so guilty, said I lied

They found me guilty….they found me so guilty, baby
They found me guilty, said I lied


“Heartbreak Hotel” is a song recorded by American singer Elvis Presley. It was released as a single on January 27, 1956, Presley’s first on his new record label RCA Victor. It was written by Mae Boren Axton and Tommy Durden, with credit being given also to Presley. A newspaper article about the suicide of a lonely man who jumped from a hotel window inspired the song. Axton presented the song to Presley in November 1955 at a country music convention in Nashville. Presley recorded it on January 10, 1956, in a session with his band, the Blue Moon Boys, the guitarist Chet Atkins and the pianist Floyd Cramer. “Heartbreak Hotel” comprises an eight-bar blues progression, with heavy reverberation throughout the track, to imitate the character of Presley’s Sun recordings.

The single topped the Billboard Top 100 for seven weeks, Cashbox’s Pop singles chart for six weeks, and the Country and Western chart for seventeen weeks as well as reaching No. 3 on the R&B chart, becoming Presley’s first million-seller, and one of the best-selling singles of 1956. “Heartbreak Hotel” achieved unheard of feats as it reached the top 5 of Country and Western, Pop, and Rhythm ‘n’ Blues charts simultaneously. It was eventually certified double platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America. Presley had first performed “Heartbreak Hotel” during a live show in December 1955 during a tour of the Louisiana Hayride; it gained popularity after his appearance on Stage Show in March 1956. It became a staple of Presley’s repertoire in live appearances, last performed by him on May 29, 1977, at the Civic Center in Baltimore.

The song was written in 1955, by Mae Boren Axton, a high school teacher with a background in musical promotion, and Jacksonville, Florida-based singer–songwriter Tommy Durden. The lyrics were based on a report supposedly in The Miami Herald about a man who had destroyed all his identity papers and jumped to his death from a hotel window, leaving a suicide note with the single line, “I walk a lonely street”. says they were unable to locate the Miami Herald story. They labeled it an urban legend. In 2016, an article in Rolling Stone magazine suggested that the story in reality originated from a report about a painter and criminal, Alvin Krolik, whose marriage had failed and who wrote a unpublished autobiography including the line “This is the story of a person who walked a lonely street.” Krolik’s story was published in news media, and received further publicity after he was shot and killed in an attempted robbery in El Paso, Texas. On August 25, 1955, the El Paso Times reported Krolik’s death under the headline “Story Of Person Who Walked Lonely Street”. Krolik’s death is not a suicide, so he can’ have inspired the song to Tommy Durden

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