CONCOCTOR – A Parody of Coconut (Harry Nillson)

“I’m not a Doctor, he repeatedly says, and yet he dispenses medical advice from the podium. This is just a fun little tune about hydroxychloroquine and azithromycin where you put them both together in a cup and you drink it all up.


 

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LYRICS for CONCOCTOR

Brother bought hydroxychloroquine just for Covid 19.
The president concocted it, he says that it’s benign.
So take some hydroxychloroquine and put it in a cup,
then you add azithromycin and you drink it all up.
You don’t need no stinkin’ research that’ll mess it all up.
The president thinks he should have been a doctor.
Wake him up!

More like Concoctor! Are you sure you’re not a fake?
I said, Concoctor! Did you make a big mistake?
I say, Concoctor! Do you know what is at stake?
I said, Concoctor! Now we got us an outbreak.

Now, le’me get this straight.
He said the virus would just one day go away all on its own.
But the facts they contradicted him, his cover was all blown.
So he made a recipe from something that he heard online.
If warm weather doesn’t fix it he can blame it all on China.

Concoctor! Do you really think you’re smart?
I say, Concoctor! Did you eat the wrong pie chart?
I said, Concoctor! Get your sharpie, do your art.
I said, Concoctor! Your concoctions fall apart.

Put hydroxychloroquine, azithromycin all together.
Gonna have to take some action, can’t depend upon the weather.
There’s a lying grifter who’s concocted something you can take.
Don’t pretend to be surprised if it gives you a belly ache.

Respiratory droplets are a problem that we face.
Better let the droplets know the six-foot rule just in case.
But the guy up at the podium’s a bigger danger still
because misinformation also has the power to kill.
Wake him up and say . . .

Concoctor, your BS doesn’t work here.
Say, Concoctor, you can’t just do knee jerk here.
Say, Concoctor, experts aren’t a thing to hate.
I said, Concoctor, now let me get this straight.

People by the tens of thousands they are dying ‘round the globe.
It’s been tough on the economy. It hurts his frontal lobe.
He is desperate for approval he is desperate to be liked,
but you cannot fake your way when dealing cards of death and life.

I say, Concoctor, are you sure you’re not a fake?
I said, Concoctor, will you make a big mistake?
I say, Concoctor, do you know what is at stake?
I said, Concoctor, now we got us an outbreak.

Hey, Doctor, tell me what can you prescribe?
I say, Doctor, something that he can imbibe
for a Concoctor to clear a messed up mind
for a Concoctor and the label’s far too kind.

Put hydroxychloroquine, azithromycin all together.
Take hydroxychloroquine right now and then you’ll feel better.
You take hydroxychloroquine and you put it in a cup
then you add azithromycin and you drink it all up!

SOURCE MATERIAL
Coconut by Harry Nilsson

“Coconut” is a novelty song written and first recorded by American singer-songwriter Harry Nilsson, released as the third single from his 1971 album, Nilsson Schmilsson. It was on the U.S. Billboard charts for 14 weeks, reaching #8, and was ranked by Billboard as the #66 song for 1972.
It was later featured in the films Reservoir Dogs, Practical Magic, and Hey Arnold!: The Movie.

The lyrics feature four characters (the narrator, the brother, the sister, and the doctor), three of whom (the narrator, sister, and doctor) are sung in different voices by Nilsson. The song describes a story in which a woman has a stomach ache and calls her doctor who prescribes her the same drink that gave her the stomach ache. With the help of her brother, they concoct a beverage consisting of lime and coconut. When the sister calls the doctor late at night, the doctor (annoyed at being awakened by such a complaint) laughs her off and recommends that she “put the lime in the coconut and drink ’em both together”—then call him in the morning.


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3 Responses

  1. V Egan

    One of my all time favorites! Thanks for resurrecting it!

  2. Pamela Schulman

    I love your site and I always share the songs, but I have trouble with this one. I loved Ernie Kovacs when I was a kid and thought the Nairobi Trio was hilarious. As soon as I saw them today, I felt really uncomfortable & knew I wouldn’t share it. The “humor” of the apes just seemed racist. Though I’m sure that was not your intention, it comes off that way. I showed it to my husband and he agreed that sharing this one wasn’t a good idea. We’ll continue to watch and share your wonderful parodies, but ask you to be more mindful in cases like this.