Ted Cruz is in the news again and this time the news is not good . . . for him, that is. It appears that the most recent polls show him losing. I guess there is a limit to how much idiocy voters can tolerate. Who knew.
Executive Producers for Parody Project Don Caron and Jerry Pender
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LYRICS
Ted Cruz won’t buy you
by Freedom Toast
Go steal nickels, go steal dimes
Tell them Jeb did some similar crimes
Tell them God said it’s you this time
They won’t buy you
Say it’s time for the G O P
To choose a nut case nominee
Falwell’s ghost pushed your candidacy
But they won’t buy you
Big bucks shy away
Even Kochs will say
They won’t buy you
Go ahead and scream
That you’re not extreme
They won’t buy you
Use your shock and awe
Tell them Harvard Law
Taught you how to make your case
But we see the lies
Behind your shifty eyes
How dumb could we be?
Show up at the big Fox “News” debate
Say Rand Paul is too little too late
Tell why armed intervention is great
But they won’t buy you
Go explain to the G O P
Why they should drink your cold bitter tea.
If they’re sick, it’s what God meant to be?
No, they won’t buy you.
You’ll cut this out some day
Or you’ll fade away,
We don’t buy you
And your high I Q
Can’t make your lies true.
We don’t buy you.
Maybe mountain goats
Give fictitious votes
And the simple-minded swoon
But the G O P’d lose
If they pick Ted Cruz
How happy we’d be.
Yes the world would cry
And they’d pass us by
We’d drop many bombs, let sick people die
But the G O P’d lose
If they pick Ted Cruz
How happy we’d be.
Yes, the G O P’d lose
If they pick Ted Cruz
We don’t…..buy….YOUUUUU!
ABOUT THE ORIGINAL MATERIAL
“Blue Bayou” is a song written by Roy Orbison and Joe Melson. It was originally sung and recorded by Orbison, who had an international hit with his version in 1963. It later became Linda Ronstadt’s signature song, with which she scored a Top 5 hit with her cover in 1977. Many others have since recorded the song.
“Blue Bayou” was originally recorded by Roy Orbison at the end of 1961. In the UK, it was released by London Monument as the double A-side track with “Mean Woman Blues” on a Monument Records single (HLU 9777), where both sides peaked at number 3. It was issued as a B-side single in the US, peaking at number 29; the A-side, “Mean Woman Blues”, peaked at number 5. The song also appeared on Orbison’s 1963 full-length album In Dreams. According to the authorized biography of Roy Orbison, a rare different version of “Blue Bayou” was released only in Italy.
“Blue Bayou” reappeared on his 1989 posthumous album A Black & White Night Live, from the 1988 television special on Cinemax.
Jacques Cousteau included an abridged version of the song during a “River Explorations” episode, which details environmental changes on the Mississippi River. This song has also been used in the Netflix digital series, Stranger Things (Season 2, Episode 6). A French language version of the song entitled “Tu n’es plus là” was released in 1963 by French rock and roll singer Dick Rivers.
Linda Ronstadt took the song to #3 on the Billboard Hot 100 in late 1977, where it held for four weeks, as well as #2 Country and #3 Easy Listening. It also reached #2, holding there for four weeks, on the Cash Box Top 100 chart.
The single was RIAA certified Gold (for sales of over 1 million US copies) in January 1978. It was the first of Ronstadt’s three Gold singles. Don Henley of the Eagles sang backup on the recording. “Blue Bayou” was later certified Platinum (for over 2 million copies sold in the United States). It was a worldwide smash, charting in countries such as Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, and Mexico, where it topped the singles charts.
Ronstadt’s version was nominated for the Grammy Award for Record of the Year and for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance.
Ronstadt also recorded a Spanish-language version of the song (translated by her father, Gilbert Ronstadt), titled “Lago Azul (Blue Bayou)”, which was released in 1978 on the single Asylum E-45464, backed by “Lo Siento Mi Vida”, a previously released Spanish song that Ronstadt herself co-wrote. This version has never been included on any reissues of Simple Dreams.
Because of this song, Dickson’s Baseball Dictionary records that a “Linda Ronstadt” is a synonym for a fastball, a pitch that “blew by you”. That phrase was coined by New York Mets broadcaster Tim McCarver during a Mets telecast in the 1980s.