FIFTY WAYS WE CAN RECOVER (Parody of Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover)

Just in the interests of full disclosure, we don’t actually list a full fifty ways but then Paul Simon didn’t list fifty ways either in his original song — Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover, so there you go.

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LYRICS TO FIFTY WAYS WE CAN RECOVER
Lyrics by Don Caron – Music: Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon

This problem is filling me with dread she said to me
I believe we’ll find an answer, if we take it logically
The first step to a remedy is that we all agree
There must be fifty ways we can recover

Public lands are up for auction, the EPA has been subdued
Education’s been dismantled, the constitution misconstrued
Corporations are on welfare, nonetheless, I will conclude
there must be fifty ways we can recover, fifty ways we can recover

Just kick out the Dick, quick
Get congress on the job, Bob
Be sure to vote out the louts, no need to explain
We need a little swamp-romp, no circumstance or pomp
Just locate the drain Jane, simple and plain
Step up to the plate, Nate
Make a little call, Paul
Hold your rep to your will, Bill – that’s the art of the deal
No alms for the rich, bitch
I’m talking’ to you, Mitch
If you’re tired of their spiel, Neil, then we’ll take the wheel

She said it grieves me seeing our country in such pain
I wonder if we’ll manage to ever make it great again
I said, I appreciate that,
so would you please explain about the fifty ways?

She said, we’ve got a president who isn’t all that bright
but our problems are much deeper, as has since been brought to light
She smiled sadly, and I thanked her for her feminine insight
There must be fifty ways we can recover – fifty ways we can recover

Just kick out the Dick, quick
Get congress on the job, Bob
Be sure to vote out the louts, no need to explain
We need a little swamp-romp, no circumstance or pomp
Just locate the drain jane, simple and plain
Step up to the plate, Nate
Make a little call, Paul
Hold your rep to your will, Bill – that’s the art of the deal
No alms for the rich, bitch.
I’m talking’ to you, Mitch
If you’re tired of their spiel, Neil, then we’ll take the wheel.

Copyright 2017 Parody Project

You might also enjoy this parody of The Battle of New Orleans, titled The Ballad of Twenty-Eighteen, or our flagship parody on Sound of Silence called “Confounds the Science.”

HISTORY OF THE ORIGINAL SONG – Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover
(Written by Paul Simon)

“50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” is a song by the American singer-songwriter Paul Simon. “50 Ways” was released in December 1975 and began to quickly climb the charts early in 1976. It became Simon’s sole number-one hit on the Billboard Hot 100 in the United States, and was his highest position in France, where it peaked at number two. The single was certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), denoting sales of over one million copies. The signature sound of the opening bars features the now-famous drum riff created by Steve Gadd during the recording session.

50 Ways was released on Paul Simon’s fourth studio album which was titled “Still Crazy After All These Years” also the title of the featured single on that album, which was not nearly as successful as 50 Ways — but’s that’s the way this stuff works. It’s impossible to predict how people will respond to new music, one of the major challenges of the business.

Shortly after the new album was released in 1975, an interview with Paul Simon was published in Rock Lives: Profiles and Interviews, in which Simon told the story of how this song came into existence: “I woke up one morning in my apartment on Central Park and the opening words just popped into my mind: ‘The problem is all inside your head, she said to me…’ That was the first thing I thought of. So I just started building on that line. It was the last song I wrote for the album, and I wrote it with a Rhythm Ace, one of those electronic drum machines so maybe that’s how it got that sing-song ‘make a new plan Stan, don’t need to be coy Roy’ quality. It’s basically a nonsense song.”