DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW – A Parody | Greg Trafidlo & Don Caron

posted in: Political Parody | 3

Who writes a book in which they brag about shooting an overly-excited puppy because it wasn’t behaving according to a hunts-woman’s expectations? Kristi Noem, the governor of South Dakota, that’s who. It appears it’s part of her ambition to be Trump’s running mate. It also appears to be backfiring.
Lyrics by Greg Trafidlo, music performance and video by Don Caron
Executive Producers Don Caron and Jerry Pender


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by Greg Trafidlo

How much is that doggie in the window?
Kristi hopes that doggie’s for sale
If she had that doggie in the window
She’d shoot him and cut off his tail.

If she had 100 Dalmatians
That’s plenty of puppies to kill
It’s normal there in South Dakota
Says Governor Kristi de Vil
She still has a kitten and a hamster
They’re lucky if they stay alive
If ever they mess upon the carpet
They’ll meet with her Colt 45.

She says she’s not apologetic
That we are besmirching her “good name”
She’s packin’ to go off on a Safari
“Cause tigers and dogs are the same.

She did it to show Trump she is forceful
So don’t think she’s sorry. She’s not!
Her hope is he’ll choose her for his V.P
But it looks like her chances are shot.

Remember that puppy in the window?
The one you brought home for your kids?
Think back when that dog ate up your tax forms
Sent Fifi ‘cross the Rainbow Bridge

So hold your condolence for this Governor
And loss of a pet from her home.
I fear be it ever so jumbled
In D.C. there’s no place for Noem.

How much is that doggie in the window?
Kristi hopes that doggie’s for sale
If she had that doggie in the window
She’d shoot him and cut off his (waggly) tail.


“(How Much Is) That Doggie in the Window?” is a popular novelty song written by Bob Merrill and first registered on September 25, 1952, as “The Doggie in the Window”. On January 27, 1953, its sheet music was published in New York as “(How Much Is) That Doggie in the Window”.

The best-known version of the song was the original, recorded by Patti Page on December 18, 1952, and released in January 1953 by Mercury Records as catalog numbers 70070 (78 rpm) and 70070X45 (45 rpm) under the title “The Doggie in the Window”, with the flip side being “My Jealous Eyes”. It reached No. 1 on both the Billboard and Cash Box charts in 1953 and sold over two million copies. Mercury, however, had poor distribution in the United Kingdom. Therefore, a recording by Lita Roza was the one most widely heard in that country, reaching No. 1 on the UK Singles Chart in 1953. It distinguished Roza as the first British woman to have a No. 1 hit in the UK chart and was also the first song with a question in the title to reach the top spot.

“Doggie” was one in a series of successful novelty songs since the 1930s, following on the success of songs such as Bing Crosby’s “Pistol Packin’ Mama” and Merv Griffin’s “I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts”. Prior to the release of “Doggie”, composer Bob Merrill penned “If I Knew You Were Comin’ I’d’ve Baked a Cake”. The original Page recording included the sounds of dogs barking, credited on the label as “Barks by Joe and Mac” (her arranger, Joe Reisman, and a violinist). The recording also features Page’s signature multi-part tight harmonies, all sung by Page. Over the course of her career, she also recorded several other versions.

On April 4, 1953, singer Patti Page’s rendition of “The Doggie in the Window” went to No. 1 in the US Billboard magazine chart, staying at that top spot for eight weeks. The song was wildly popular across a wide demographic. The song had school children “yipping”, Mercury Records was besieged with requests for free puppies, and the American Kennel Club’s annual registrations spiked by eight percent. In all, Page’s record sold over 2 million copies. It was the third best-selling song of 1953.

Following the UK top ten debut of Lita Roza’s cover version on March 19, 1953, the Patti Page version of the song was released in the UK on March 28, renamed “(How Much Is) That Doggie in the Window” (sans question mark), under Mercury’s Oriole Records label. Given the delay getting to market in the UK, it was not as successful as the Roza version, entering the charts at No. 9 on April 2, before leaving the charts altogether five weeks later. The Roza version reached No. 1 on April 23, where it stayed for a single week. For five weeks between March 28, 1953, and April 25, 1953, there were two versions of “Doggie” in the UK’s Top 12 singles chart.

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3 Responses

  1. John Paterson

    Just when I thought we had seen the very worst people doing whatever they could to crawl into the US Federal politics, Noem has set a new low. I found it hard to think of a more vile creature than Trump in the modern world, but she showed that it was possible.

    Here in Australia we have no say in your election of course; but we all know how much it affects our lives anyway. Much as it does for the rest of the world. Unsurprisingly therefore, there is a TV program devoted to following your election. The two people hosting it call upon people from all sides of US politics, and many roles in the electoral process, for their input; it is a very well-balanced show. That show is following the polling more than the normal news does, and the general trend is that Trump has a very good chance of re-election. This is a thought that utterly horrifies me.

    Keep up the good work Don.